求大虾帮我看看我的开发信有没有问题

wang461707084

   刚刚进入外贸一个多星期，公司的老业务员不愿意传授经验，怕我抢了他的饭碗。所以请各位大侠拔刀相助，看看我的开发信有没有问题：
   
Dear Sir/Madam,

This is John Wong from Jacky Lighting Technology Co., Ltd. It's an honor to introduce you some of our LED lights with competitive price. That may probably make your cost reduction.

The main products we manufacture are Flood Light, Tunnel Light and High bay Light.  Already access to Spanish, Greece, Italy, Russia and also Asia country of Burma. Part of quotation is in attachment for your information.

Looking forward to hearing from you soon and discuss the details. Please feel free to contact us.

    题目我用了三个：Are you satisfied with your supplier?
                                Recommend supplier of LED Light with good quality and low price；
                                We recommend supplier of LED Light for you

    如能指点一二，不胜感激！

Asa

1.标题突出重点
2.简单明了通俗易懂
3.可以适当列出几个产品的具体报价吸引客户


祝你好运。

jkluo27

Hi

Nice to know you business in the LED light from your web,And I find out our LED light can help you got more profit.

We suggest you can try our Flood Light, Tunnel Light and High bay Light.

Already access to Spanish, Greece, Italy, Russia and also Asia country of Burma.

Looking forward your reply asap,and wish send our catalog to you.

朱先生

说半天就是卖灯   第一句话可以去掉
Hello
LED lights with competitive price supplier from China.
As:Flood Light, Tunnel Light and High bay Light etc
Covering Spanish, Greece, Italy, Russia and also Asia country of Burma.
Qotation will be enclosed.

结尾
公司信息

题目 闹个 LED light 装潢/搭配/等随便带点用途的词

回答完毕

wang461707084

朱先生 发表于 2013-9-24 11:09
说半天就是卖灯   第一句话可以去掉
Hello
LED lights with competitive price supplier from China.

大虾，太谢谢你了

wang461707084

jkluo27 发表于 2013-9-23 21:41
Hi

Nice to know you business in the LED light from your web,And I find out our LED light can hel ...

亲，太谢谢你啦

wang461707084

Asa 发表于 2013-9-23 19:13
1.标题突出重点
2.简单明了通俗易懂
3.可以适当列出几个产品的具体报价吸引客户

朋友，谢谢你。

DebbieZhou

jkluo27 发表于 2013-9-23 21:41
Hi

Nice to know you business in the LED light from your web,And I find out our LED light can hel ...

          good!

DebbieZhou

朱先生 发表于 2013-9-24 11:09
说半天就是卖灯   第一句话可以去掉
Hello
LED lights with competitive price supplier from China.

简洁干脆，单刀直入！