展示下我的开发信，望各位高手们给点宝贵意见

Candy88888888

Dear XXX,

Hello!This is Candy from XXX Co.,Ltd. We are the leading manufacturer of tiles in China,and knew that you are the tiles importer in Canton Fair.So we hope to cooperate with you in the near future.

Actually every year we attended to Canton Fair and Ceramic Fair for two times,I think you might have ever visited our booth if you have visited that two Fairs.

Our main products including:Polished tiles,Glazed polished tiles,Rustic tiles,Wall tiles etc.All of our products complying with international quality certification.

If you want to know more about us,PLS don't hesitate to contact me,thanks in advance!

Best wishes,

XXX

B7in

谢谢分享！最好带上一些你们的产品图片！个人感觉啊1

coco

不错，楼上说的产品图片我觉得最好直接显示在邮件内容中，不要用附件的形式。

Candy88888888

B7in 发表于 2013-9-4 11:03
谢谢分享！最好带上一些你们的产品图片！个人感觉啊1

但是第一封邮件就加图片不会被客人的邮箱自动拦截吗？

Eastsea-Ricky

coco 发表于 2013-9-4 11:07
不错，楼上说的产品图片我觉得最好直接显示在邮件内容中，不要用附件的形式。

不用附件形式有被过滤掉的可能

B7in

Candy88888888 发表于 2013-9-4 13:06
但是第一封邮件就加图片不会被客人的邮箱自动拦截吗？

可以有附件的啊...

jkluo27

Dear XXX,

Nice to see you in Canton Fair.Did you have place the order for the tiles.Hope we can help you.

This is ***,Our company(***) join every conton Fair,,If you remember i think you shalll have impression for me.

Now our company can help you got more profit in those tiles:

Polished tiles,Glazed polished tiles,Rustic tiles,Wall tiles etc

Best quality with the ISO...  

So can I have change to give you a quote for the tiles,,Please tell me you need or i can send to you our catalog,,

Hope your reply asap

Best wishes,

XXX

Candy88888888

jkluo27 发表于 2013-9-4 14:33
Dear XXX,

Nice to see you in Canton Fair.Did you have place the order for the tiles.Hope we can  ...

thank you,,,,这样好像更吸引

夜、已清场

文中的缩写 最好不要用。因为你跟客户还不熟。

夜、已清场

1.help--改为assist,两个词语给客户的感觉是不同的
can- could
2.客户资料的来源是哪里呢，有调查过客户信息吗， 文中一直在说你能怎么样
3.语法错误和错别字，千万不能出出现的
4.你的人称。太过于主观...为甚不说quotation will ...or ...
5.还有一些无关紧要的话 就不要说了。每一句话没一段话 都要有它的内容和存在的必要。不要说官话。